As I was lying in bed this morning waking up slowly, I was listening to the sounds of morning.
the beautiful silence of the house
the distant swish of an occasional car driving by
the scratching of a creature in the attic (ick!)
and the buzzing of Tom's monitor
I have no idea what the buzzing meant -- is he high? low? just needs to take a test? is the monitor not reading correctly? the monitor is under his pillow and I cannot get to it.
So I had to leave bed. Which is fine. I am trying to feel ok about it.
While DW's husband struggles with constant 300's, Tom struggles (or pushes it?) to stay below 100. The problem there is going too low.
But in truth, Tom's health is not all-absorbing right now. I have a lot going on.
My job is always difficult, I like being challenged, but for the past 9 or 10 months, it has become especially stressful. My boss has become a maniac and I am finding it increasingly difficult to be enthusiastic about going to work. My career has always been important to me and I like working - but this is really hard. After taking last week off (vacation) going back next week will be difficult.
I can't find my engagement ring! Its not like its any super fancy thing - just a small diamond in a 14k setting, but its my engagement ring. last I remember, I had it on my trip, -- and no I didn't gamble it away -- I'm not much of a gambler -- in 2 1/2 days, I only gambled about $100. I think I had it when I got home, but it was 3 am and I was very tired. I'm really sad.
My family is being annoying right now. I think I have said it here before, when you have a big family and they have kids and spouses, it gets complicated and priorities are all over the board. The bottom line is that its probably me. To my mind, when you have a big group, the smart thing to do is to be as flexible as possible so as many people as possible can get what they want. and I don't understand pure selfishness. But some people (even people I grew up with!) are just selfish. One example -- and this doesn't matter but its an example -- is that for my dad's 85th birthday. Instead of all of us being together for one dinner, he has to go to three separate birthday meals! Of course, that's not necessarily a bad thing, but isn't it kind of dumb? when the reason is not about what's best for dad, but what's best for the other family members.
Finally, the really good thing in my life right now, is that we have been re-doing my kitchen and family room. Its been in the planning (at least in my mind) for 6 years and we are within a week of having it completed. I absolutely love it. Its amazing that what I envisioned has actually occurred before my eyes! My "design" was pretty bold considering the neighborhood and the basic style of the house. But I don't plan on moving out of this house until they carry me out. (Yes, I read DW's blog regularly and can only believe that if Tom goes down that path that it is far in the future!) (By the way, the way he drives, I think he is much more likely to die of a car crash
Anyway, back to the kitchen, Tom doesn't like it when I describe it this way, but I describe the new kitchen and family room as yellow -- a very warm yellow -- a very warm creamy yellow. The cabinets in the kitchen are maple and the furniture in the family room is teak. the walls are a very creamy white. its not a gigantic room but its long. There are a lot of windows and very few upper cabinets so the walls do not feel like they are coming in on you. There is only one design element that did not get changed that I would like to do some day and that is the fire place mantle. That is still ugly to me. But considering all that we have done and the few things yet to do (a new flat screen tv, some art work for the wall) that will wait -- and we may never do it its not terrible. Even the tv and art work -- there is no rush.
I have really enjoyed putting the kitchen together -- I did almost all of the design myself. There were a few elements I couldn't figure out and needed help of a designer (to figure out placement of the refrigerator and exactly how all of the cabinets would work out). But the designer then found me the most wonderful contractor. (Never thought I would say that!) So I am a happy camper.
So, starting in February, I will be cooking and having people over for dinners! The challenge for me will be figuring out how to put together guest lists of a small group of people at a time so I can make it manageable for me on a weekend and have a good group. I am psyched about it. That will be very fun for me! I love to cook - it is very distracting for me. As long as I don't do it every day. And Tom likes to entertain also. He helps a lot and takes care of himself (mostly) when we are doing something like that. So it is something to look forward to.
And now I must actually start my day. writing this morning has been good. Tom is still in bed. I am not going up. (Yes, I'm worried. But I'm not going up) He has to take care of himself. That is what the monitor is for.
Have a good day.
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