Yay! XMas is over!

I know that some people like the holidays
but for me they are always so stressful that I can't wait for them to be over
I am now home and grateful to be so
My beautiful, quiet, home -- the one that is mine!

Selfish? yes; Honest? Absolutely.
And for those of you who are still afraid of being honest
here on my blog?
sometimes its REALLY hard, but its important to give yourself permission

My Tom doesn't have the physical problems that DW's husband has
so while I can empathize, I'm not there

but talk to me about the issues faced by Crazy Wife and the lies like that?
I'm so there
Its taken me so long,,,, but finally, I can recognize -- it is NOT ME!
Its him!!!!!!

that doesn't stop it from hurting
or stop me from questioning myself sometimes

Its not fair, its not right, but he does it any way

We were at the hotel on Christmas Eve and he woke up really low
he was ranting - honestly, I have no idea what he was talking about
he was yelling at me about something
of course I was wrong, stupid, whatever....
somewhere, I found patience
I gave him some soda and took a shower
when I got out he was eating some candy
then he was really sorry

My Tom goes low, he gets upset when he eats too many carbs
he will scold me for feeding him too many carbs at dinner
but his mother, of course, can do no harm
even when she gives him stupid stuff
he won't tell her no -- he won't tell her that she is wrong
he eats and takes whatever she gives him
not me -- but her
he doesn't want to hurt her feelings
obviously he doesn't care that much about mine

one of her specialties is a particular cookie that she makes
according to her, Tom loves these cookies more than life itself
they are made with butter, sugar and flour
she pushes them on him non stop
including sending some home with him
he won't tell her no
he says ok then the minute we are out of her house, he tells me he won't eat them

it doesn't matter that he has told her that he doesn't eat them because of the high carb count
"but you love these and you can eat them"
then when he is not around, she lectures me on what he eats and how his health is -- what I'm doing wrong in not taking care of him -- this year, it was that he is too skinny and not eating enough

Arghh!

You know, DH writes in such an organized fashion and
I just write stream of conscious
oh well, that's who I am

deal with it
I hope all of us get some easier nights (and days) as we go into the next year
or at least the strength to deal with the ones we have

take care.
Tom's Wife