I received quite a few comments in the last few days.
Welcome Donna-dj! I'm glad your daughter found us!
We are a "fun" group!
I had forgotten about my April posting until you reminded me of it.
Our diabetic husbands (dh for short) are such a handful!
some days we love them despite it and other days we don't know how we can tolerate it for another nanosecond!!!
Suicide by Diabetes 2. I've never heard that
before but it's perfect. It totally describes my husband, type 2 diabetic for
25 or 30 yrs and he could not care less......while he and his moods is truly
wrecking our marriage of 46 yrs. No amt of conversation, arguing, reminders,
mean anything. I have reached the point where I too just don't want to be
around him. My daughter found this blog and oh my God, I REALLY need this....to
touch base with other wives try to get my own head on straight. I just shake
constantly when he's around. My salvation is our grandkids , a wonderful
distraction. His problem is high blood sugar. Food is EVERYTHING to him. I know
he's depressed, his docs have just pretty much written him up as non-compliant.
Some docs have encouraged him to find other docs. They are sick of him and the
docs want to help cure or control a disease.....he's just an ass. A miserable,
crabby, withdrawn, nasty, old man of 69. So senseless. I'm so scared because we
don't have much money, he is uninsurable, and when he dies or becomes disabled,
I lose everything. Sounds selfish but I resent that he doesn't care about
US.....and I've reached the point where I really don't care about him...just
what his "disease" will ultimately do to me. Donna-dj
Lilly wrote that Sandy is back but I have not been able to find her blog. Sandy if you see this, please let me know how to find you. I miss you!
And a belated welcome to Boop82 -- I have seen your name before but didn't say hi -- sorry
you asked how we do this for more than 20 years. Well if you read some of the posts -- some people don't. Every relationship and every person is different.
In my case, I can remember the very first time that Tom had a very bad low and walked naked into my living room while my cousin was still there visiting. My cousin is like my brother - so it could have been worse. But it took me awhile to figure out what was going on and how to appropriately respond. Need less to say, 26 years later the issues are different and I respond differently. But for the most part Tom is not abusive with me. For other people, Their DH's are abusive or it simply does get impossible to live with.
also, Tom has had some serious events where he has had to face his reality and he gets "scared straight" that works for awhile and he does better.
It is my opinion that (a) it is not easy being married to a diabetic. But! (b) it is not easy being married. someone else may have another problem -- he could be a lazy person or an alcoholic, or have another significant disease, or any number of issues that may be very difficult to live with.
maybe someone else has some better ideas. these are just mine.
good luck!
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I'm so glad I found the site again. usually have to google in a moment of desperation. About a month ago my dh decided that he was done and moving out. No specific event precipitated this, just took my comment " I don't want to spend the next 20 years like this, we need counseling." to mean he should leave. After 23 years, that's all. He was on the max dosage of Byetta, metformin, etc. as a long haul truck driver he will be on disability if he has to use insulin. About a year ago he had his top teeth pulled, no denture so far. A1C is back in double digits and impotent for the last 12 months and no interest in anything. the suicide by type 2 really hit home with me, I don't understand and am angry and confused. I have managed to make the payments on my salary (just barely, he generously contributed 50% of the house payment). I think that I'm being manipulated and am angry. (putting it mildly) of course he does not want a divorce (he would have to pay for his own health insurance). I finally asked how he could just leave so easily. no answer and dead air on the phone. Thinking I better get a lawyer and get it done. He actually threw the Byetta pens out the truck window (some crap about a law suit he saw on TV). Suicide by type 2 seems like a likely result.
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