Maybe Ignorance is Bliss

So, I'm in "a Mood"
Maybe its because too many people in my life are sick
and I mean really sick

like, dying sick
but not really dying

In our society, we put a lot of emphasis on life at any cost
But I just don't know
there has to be something about the quality of that life
and the quality of the lives of those who care about the "sick" person

I will use my dad as an example here
First of all, to get this straight, my dad is my hero
without him on planet earth, I'm not sure it will still spin correctly
OK? so I know that my life depends upon him being here

However.......

He was diagnosed with lung cancer about two years ago
Since then, he and my mom.
well they essentially live from test to test
Sure there are days that are wonderful
but there are also weeks of misery

sometimes its pain
other times its just waiting

Are any of us REALLY better off waiting for his next bad test?
I have been told I can be pessimistic
I prefer realistic

There has to be a line between enjoying every day fully
and worrying about dying

I love this system
and have become very attached to Diabetic's Wife
Her blog about her trials and tribulations are my own
I know it will by my trip at some point in my life
and her story is my story
it helps even if it is hard to hear (read)

My husband is her husband
sure there are differences
but it is the same

One the other hand
there may be different answers on my horizon
I don't know yet
My husband -- Tom -- worries like crazy about his diabetes
He weighs almost the same thing he weighed in high school
he is too skinny in my opinion
he exercises like crazy and eats VERY carefully
Yet, he is now worried about his BMI
Personally, I think that's hogwash!
BMI doesn't take age into account
he is 58 years old!
and he is not sure that he wants to go through surgeries when its his turn
we talk....

True, I agree with DW, his sugar probably goes up and down
and the average AC1 may be fine
but the highs and lows are probably causing heart disease

on the other hand, what doesn't cause heart disease or cancer these days?
we are all going to die of something

If its not what we eat or the lack of exercise, its smoking, or genetics, or bad luck

See, there really is no predicting things
we have to live each day doing the best we can
we need to eat well, get some exercise, and not do stupid things

then we have to have faith
then we have to decide what we want to do

Personally, I'm not sure I want to believe in doctors much anymore
Oh, of course, they provide some good services
but prolonging life beyond what is what supposed to be?
that's when I'm not so sure

Not that I want to lose the people close to me
but maybe seeing them suffer is worse

I just don't know.........

Heaving a very big sigh and looking into the spring sunset.
Tom's wife