I believe you will find this a familiar story
I offered to pick my sister up from the airport when she returned from vacation yesterday
as things worked out, I was out with Tom yesterday afternoon and while texting with her before her plane took off, I mentioned that Tom was with me
She said that if Tom was driving she did not want the ride - she would find another way to get home
Well, Tom is an aggressive driver sometimes and I have to remind him to stop scaring me
usually when I ask he does
but when his sugar is off -- then he drives even worse
so, yes it can be a problem
but I truly don't see it as a big problem
but I'm not sure I"m in a good position to judge
by the way, I find driving with my sister's husband to be more scary than driving with Tom
but that may be because I'm not used to his version of risk-taking
Anyway. I guess I see her point -- she doesn't feel safe and doesn't want to elect to do something not safe
but, my feelings were hurt
i'm feeling very conflicted about it
on the other hand, something came up last night that gave me the opportunity (when we were home and not in the car) when I was able to ask Tom about his driving. would he admit that he needed to get serious about being safer, about being less aggressive, about not scaring me so much. He was truly surprised -- he asked if I had been scared earlier in the day. when I said yes a few times -- he was puzzled. When? Where? He wasn't angry just didn't see anything he had done that could have caused it.
I asked him if he wanted my help figuring out a solution -- he said no -- he would work on it.
so I will let it go for awhile. then I'll bring it up again :)
In the meantime, I need to figure out how to address my feelings about my sister.
maybe I shouldn't be upset with her but I am
any wise words ?
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Oh yes....totally understand...my daughter won't let our 5 yr. old grandson ride with my DH...now figure out how we work that one out...
ReplyDeleteIf we told DH, he would explode!!!!! So, we make something up or I always go whether or not I planned to...anyway talk with your sister and tell her you understand but if you are riding with them things should be ok...if she still acts ugly or somewhat rude...ask what her husband's excuse is for driving so bad...ha ha...just kidding...but you gotta laugh...happy new year to all...and please keep posting...it helps more than any of you will know...TX DW
I have to say . . . I understand your sister's concern, although I'm sorry her comments upset you. I have been so afraid while riding with my husband complete with his lows and road rages, that I refuse to get in the vehicle with him unless I am driving. I know it makes him mad, as it still comes up when he is low and ticked off at me. However, he also knows that if he wants me to go with him, I WILL be doing the driving. He also has a nephew whose parents won't let him go anywhere with us unless I do the driving, so I know I'm not the only one concerned about this.
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