Driving, Posting, Reacting to Abuse

Thanks for all of your comments.

First, as it regards Tom's driving -- Tom is an aggressive, terrible driver when his sugar is exactly 100.
I almost always insist that he test before I will get in the car with him driving now -- and even before I let him drive by himself if I'm around.
He looks at driving as a race - he needs to beat the other cars - whether to an exit on the expressway, to the stop light, or to his destination.
Last week we had a CONVERSATION.  I told him he had to do something about it and I was no longer going to stand by and just let it happen.  I was now going to be his very verbal conscience.  I pointed out many things that he does while driving that is dangerous and unnecessary.  He told me that he thought of me frequently this week while driving to work.
Also when driving together, I am now commenting on dangerous activities and commending safe activities.  I have never wanted to take this role  But I have found that I must.  Otherwise this may get taken out of my hands.  He may lose his license and I will have to become his chauffeur.  I don't like driving that much and would HATE that.  So instead I will become the nag.  He will either get better at this or ......  whatever. 

Did I tell you that his insurance just went up 30% because of an accident he had last year?  the accident had nothing to do with his diabetes -- just bad driving.  The higher insurance rate hit him hard.  That probably made more of an impact on him than anything else.  Money talks to him like nothing else.  but because of it, he is more willing to listen to me.

Also, thank you Michael Hoskins for letting me know that the wife of a longtime Type 1 husband posted on the D-Mine website this week.  Sometimes I see these things and sometimes I don't  Appreciate the heads up. 


The recent posts re non-compliant husbands is breaking my heart.  The men are getting older and I believe the disease is eating away at part of their brains causing them to lash out at the ones closest to them -- their supporting and loving wives.  The wives can only take so much.  There was an article in last Sunday's Washington Post Magazine about a woman whose husband suffered major brain damage.  Eventually, she divorced him and married a different man, and together they care for the first husband.  There has been quite a bit of commentary about this -- some critical saying the woman was acting selfishly others saying she was handling a bad situation gracefully.  My point is that there is no absolute right and wrong.  Each person has to figure it out on their own.  If a husband (or wife) gets to the point where there abusive activity is greater than their non-abusive activity, I believe it is time to consider other options -- no matter how painful that gets.

Tom and I have started talking about this.  Now before he gets that way, he wants to talk about it and make plans.  I am a very lucky person indeed.

Thank you, other wives, for helping me be aware of the potential future so I can talk to Tom about what may be in store for me.