Why Diabetics Lie

Last night I asked Tom why he lies to me about his sugar
he started to deny it
but I calmly reassured him that I was not judging but curious
told him I was reading another blogger's frustration over it
and really wanted to understand why he does it
not that he can answer for anyone else -- just him

here are his reasons:
1)  he doesn't like being punished by me -- "no that's not right, I don't like it when you tell me ...."  when he goes low and I ask about it, I am going to tell him what to do (eat or drink something to fix it)  he knows I have his best interests at heart and that I am usually correct but he doesn't like it and in fact it feels like punishment even if that is not nice for me

2)  he doesn't like feeling out of control of his diabetes and feeling like he screwed up (his words)  he thinks he should always be in control so sometimes he will see that the number is low and I ask about it -- its like I caught him doing something "wrong" and he feels bad about that -- like he is supposed to always get it "right"

he acknowledges that I am very good at noticing the signs and am almost always right when I think he is low.  he also agrees that we have both worked on improving our communication so he doesn't feel so accused (and I don't overreact) when he goes low.

he doesn't really have such a problem with highs -- and he doesn't often go above 200 -- if he goes above 200 he thinks its a crisis without any help from me.

he thinks he has gotten so much better at all of this since he has his glucose monitor and in general I would agree -- but its a matter of degree and I don't think he is as good at it as he thinks he is

when I ask and he is either at a good rate or high -- he is usually pretty accurate when he tells me what his number is -- even when he tests to be sure

but when he is low or going low - he is less reliable -- again, I am not judging just observing
I understand how difficult this must be for him
I tried to explain to him that I don't think he is doing something wrong nor do I want to punish him
I just want to make sure his sugar is in the right zone -- and catch it before it goes too low
if sometimes my voice is too sharp when I ask, its because of fear not blame

the conversation ended because we got to our destination -- not because we finished
although he thought we were done

It was interesting to learn
he did admit to me that he does lie about  his sugar
that was new

just thought I would share....