Doesn't it just get so exhausting? I don't know where to begin tonight. I read others' comments and I feel badly -- the woman who has finally called it quits. getting divorced because he is so selfish and wont take care of himself, expecting her to do it; she is correct. how much can one person do?
the abuse we get from other people - especially the mothers of the men who don't take care of themselves. I guess its their own guilt they are putting onto us. they can't take care of their son so they want us to do so. but it just doesn't work that way.
and there is absolutely no help for us in the diabetic community at large -- no that's all about denial. diabetics are to be supported and pitied at all costs. don't assume they are human, with strengths and weaknesses. who go through the same psychological limitations that everyone else goes through. yes, some of them want to be pitied that way, but I'll bet in their saner moments, many do not.
Tom, for one, wants desperately to be as "normal" as possible. he doesn't always understand that sometimes in his efforts to do so that he becomes compulsive and pushes the mark to go too low. then its up to me to catch it -- if I don't do it in time then its the paramedics. then he gets upset because we both "failed"
what a cycle
i think the woman who is ready to leave her husband will think I have it so much better than she does because after all my husband cares enough to watch what he eats etc. but there have been times when i was up at 2 or 3 in the morning multiple times a week, for weeks on end, fighting with him to take sugar, because his sugar was so low, he was about to go unconscious
One summer, the paramedics were at our house 8 times in 2 months.
believe me, that is not fun.
I'm not saying this to compete -- but to sigh in frustration, sanguine, and sometimes anguish. we are not alone. just sometimes lonely.
I wish I could help others but sometimes I don't know how to help myself feel better.
But I think DW is the smartest of us all, keep busy with things you enjoy doing and spend time with people you love and people who love you. your life is short too.
tom's wife.
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ReplyDeleteI've started a quasi support group for spouses of diabetics - I say quasi because I am, in no way, qualified to run a support group. I have 2 friends whose husbands are diabetics and whenever we would run into each other we would catch up on how things were going. That lead into my organizing a dinner for the 3 of us and now we meet every 2 months or so. It has been just over 2 years now and it has helped me greatly - and I'd like to believe it has helped them as well. We all live in western New York state, in the suburbs of Buffalo. I'm sure we're pretty unique, but I thought it might give some of your readers an idea.
Thanks for your blog, I have it on my Bloglines and read it every time it tells me that you've posted something new.
JustLittleMe