Its interesting to me that I have found you, my friends on this blog
to be honest, I have 5 friends on facebook -- its not my thing - -I only have those "friends" because they are already my friends and it serves a purpose -- why do people have hundreds?
I picked up email at first because of work
don't misunderstand -- I learned to program computers way back in college -- on punch cards!
that was a long time ago -- so I'm not averse to technology
its the public part of the "friendship" thing that causes my hesitation
while we try to be discrete (at least many of us) I don't really trust anything on the internet
of course some of my work involves internet security
and I have probably seen more ways to steal than to do things legally
that said, I find it interesting how we "sister wives" address the issue of our husbands knowing about our blogs -- and the "secrecy" thing
some dread the thought of their husbands finding out
I understand that -- Tom's feelings would probably be hurt if he read some of what I wrote
I wouldn't want that
I'm brutally honest here
on the other hand, sometimes I wonder if it wouldn't be better if he did read it -- maybe he would understand better
but I know better
I have tried to tell him these things in so many ways over the years
in writing, in words, and in pictures -- you name it! :)
And then again, Tom truly does not seem curious
someone wondered whether a husband sneaked in and saw her blog
its possible
what would be the outcome??
would he be angry? sad? hurt?
would he change his behavior overall?
would he take better care of himself?
would he take better care of her?
those would be good outcomes
on the other hand, would he yell more?
Tom is one of those people who mostly turns things inside
and if he is angry at me he gets passive aggressive
when he yells, it really is to tell me indirectly that I'm stupid
if I'm in a good place then I have learned to be calm and walk away from those arguments
but as you know I'm not always in a good place
right now, he is not yelling at me
he is internalizing
we just don't talk much
its not terrible
its also just not terribly warm either
I guess that's my rambling for now.....
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
I actually asked my hubby to take a look at my blog and read it once in a while. He is a private person (although he is starting to open up kore) and I don't want him to feel uncomfortable about anything I write. I suppose everyone is different with these things though
ReplyDeleteOh...you have such a way with words...I would not want my DH to find or read this...it would hurt him and I feel it would only make things more distant...and they are getting that way more and more as the years pass....if I just reach to touch him...he is sure I am checking to see if he is clammy...i.e. beginning a "low" and he assures me his sugars are high.
ReplyDeleteI just appreciate the privilige of being myself here and opening up to others who can understand and give me new hope...or just make me feel less lonely...those who understand the need to tiptoe around the 500 lb. gorilla in the room...or just know the feeling of falling asleep crying another night...again thanks to all and hope the weekend goes well for all...keep posting as we all need to vent sometime...TX DW
I agree: we have become friends over the internet who understand each other in a way that most of our day-to-day "in-person" friends just can't. Yet many of us stay anonymous, even from each other. I too am distrusting of privacy on the internet, as I deal with some of it at work as well.
ReplyDeleteI honestly don't know how my husband would react if he knew about my blogging. He is so unpredictable, it is not worth it to me to find out! If the yelling increased, I don't think I could take it. I also don't think it would break through the denial that he has so carefully built around himself. How sad is that? I cannot always be in a "good place" either, and am not willing to risk having those times be worse than they are.
Hubby and I go through long, long periods of time when we don't talk much. It's not exactly terrible, but also not exactly what I would choose if I felt there was a choice.
Hang in there, Tom's Wife, and may you be in a "better place" before long,
Lilly
Everyone needs an outlet. Some have friends they can vent to in person. Others online, and still some write by hand in personal journals. Or blog. It's to each their own, whatever way helps. For me, I personally don't write to conceal my feelings from my spouse or others - I'm just not that way. Of course, I'm not one to blog about my dirty laundry online. If that does happen, my wife and I have a conversation and discussion about it first. Why should the rest of the world hear about it before the person I'm griping about or having issues with? But I see the point of not revealing. Or even in being anonymous. Like mentioned, blogs have different purposes for different people. So I hope it's doing what is needed for you, and any others you may be reaching - whether you're offering your DH a different perspective to see or not.
ReplyDelete