Been thinking about me lately
talking to a friend today
In the last few years life has been a mixture of good and bad
however I believe that I have lost my foundation
over the last 20 years of my marriage (been married 25) I have gradually been losing pieces of Tom to diabetes -- read about it in DW''s blog -- she does a good job
but a couple of years ago my dad was diagnosed with lung cancer
he had all the treatments
and at 85 years old, his doctors are calling him "cured"
but he is no longer my dad
you see, of everyone on the face of this earth, my dad of the single person who believed in me no matter what happened
he was always my cheerleader
he challenged me and listened to me
he understood me and loved me unconditionally
I hope this doesn't sound weird
but my dad is my heart!
and while he is still a living breathing person
he just isn't the same
he doesn't feel well
he is tired
my mom "protects him from everyone"
she worries about him so much -- and that's understandable
but I get very little alone time with him
he seems just fine with that too
but I miss him so much
I think these words don't capture my thoughts very well
but its where my thoughts are tonight
I just don't have my dad anymore
even though I "still have my dad"
sad....
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Dear Tom's Wife,
ReplyDeleteI wish I had the Dad you do. Mine passed in '90. Heart Attack. He was rarely nice. He had his good points and those are what I try to remember.
May be you should send your dad some cards. Something you sign with your own hand. Noting some little rememberances you both shared. I think he would like that.
Love, S