Its been a busy summer for me
I am wrapping up my job before "retiring" to my next career step
its the best feeling in the world
Tom is being great -- he is taking care of himself and being supportive of me
its a nice change of pace
I hope it continues
reading the other DW's blogs, they are not having so much luck
(and I know my turn will come - so I am very sympathetic)
And yet, I don't see myself as kind as others
Getting up to feed him a fourth meal while he sits there whining? not happening -- feed yourself -- I'll be somewhere else.
Getting up in the middle of the nite when he doesn't hear the beeps? Been there done that -- not sure I'll do that any more.
Trying to fix the windows in order to sell the house while I'm in pain? ok, maybe, I would do that - but I would probably kick him out first and do it on my schedule and only when I feel good and wouldn't share any of the money I get from selling the house with him.
Of course you know I say all of this with a little bit of sarcasm
its easy to say what i would do when I am not in those shoes
I remember someone telling me not to help Tom when he was in a low
oh, yeah, just let him die!
of course, that's so easy!
I'll just go to sleep while he goes into a coma beside me
when I wake up in the morning he will be dead and I will calmly call the paramedics
no problem
easy as pie
sure
this is the man I married 25 years ago
I love him (or at least I used to)
what has life become?
going from one crisis to another?
Its a good thing I love to work
I am hoping that I can make a ton of money in the next 10 years
I can dream and wish and hope that I can buy my way out of this
what do you think?
will that work?
probably not
but dreams are dreams
yes?
clearly its time for me to go to sleep tonight
hope you get a good night's sleep tonight also
sometimes its all we can hope for....
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What a hoot! Love your scarasm...it makes all feel good...and is easy to say...I do wonder how you will start a new career, make lots of money (hope you make twice as much as you are planning) and hold onto it...I worry about the future...money can go so quickly when an illness such as ours is in the picture.. would love to hear comments on this subject... and want to know more about the beeps...I hear them and ask...of course he's always "fine"...
ReplyDeleteI am feeling a little needy these days and hope you all will write more....but some sites won't allow me to comment so I vent on this one a lot...but all the best to all...better days ahead...at least that's what we pray for!
TX DW
It's good for ALL of us to dream! If we didn't, we might as well give up. And maybe some of those dreams will eventually be reality; who knows for sure?
ReplyDeleteI also share your sentiments about not doing a lot of the things I am reading about on some other blogs. But at the same time, it's easy to say that until we are there. I wish these guys came with a set of instructions, some of which irrevocably let us spouses off the hook if we did not do everything they expect us to do! Struggling with a lot right now . . .
I am glad you have peace and calm now. it is funny, my dreams involve making enough money to buy my way out too.
ReplyDeleteOh My Friend,
ReplyDeleteLove your post! I miss communicating with you.
All the posts from the "sister wives" makes me think back to being 17. The power of that age. The possibilites before us then. To now, the life before us for the choices we had made.
Yet, life is full of choices. Until our last breath. Every moment we choose. We choose what we'll do.
I chose to shut down my blog to continue in my marriage. Although my marriage will never be the same for being forced to make that choice. Humm... makes me wonder was this really a choice? But, of course it was a choice. Just one of the many choices a wife makes for a marriage.
Just like the many choices all of us make daily to remain married a DH.
It is unrealistic for only the wife to make the sacrafies for a marriage to survive. No matter what other factors are involved, a marriage is of two persons. Sacrafice is a two way street.
Until the diabetic realizes this, no marriage is safe. Marriage vows do not include being abused. Love is not in any way abusive.
So, daily we must make choices. What one will allow and what one will not. What will be forgiven and what will not tolerate.
We must figure out, "What's your line".
Anonymou(s) Wife