Commenting on Others Posts

Reading posts by Diabetic Wife and Lilly - some comments just came to mind and prompted me to write my own ramblings........

On Family:
Several years ago we moved to be closer to my family --- and his. His is still about 4 hours away by car -- but that's better than 12 and about as close as either of us could handle. :)

My family clearly challenges me sometimes, but I am grateful to be here. There is no doubt in my mind, that every one will drop every thing for me if I ever need anything.

On one of Tom's trips to the ER in the middle of the night, I thought about which one of them I would call if I needed someone with me at the hospital. (I drove my own car -- which is horrible by the way if you haven't done that. It is very scary driving behind and wondering if they were able to revive him, racing to the hospital at 2 am, hoping that if a cop pulled up, he would know you were appropriately following the ambulance.!)

The point is that I have three sisters within a couple of miles of me who I could have woken up and they would have been at my side within minutes -- probably with their husbands! I am so grateful for that I can't express it. They would also take the burden of talking with my parents and his mother if I needed them to -- and for that too I'm grateful. Sometimes the thought of making a bunch of calls after an "episode" like that is too tough for me.



On "Just Getting a Divorce"
Leaving a marriage is a very difficult thing -- no matter the cause -- so many people are involved: the husband, the wife, the children, the husband's birth family, the wife's birth family, and the social and work circles in which both evolve. It is never a decision that affects only one person.

And even if it did - one asks herself: How can I leave this man that I loved to die alone? I have worked so many years to help him and saved his life so many times in so many ways? If I leave, he will surely die, how can he live without me?

But he has also done some fabulous things for me, remember when he just held me when I cried that time? how about the time that he..... We have wonderful memories of these men....

I remember one time thinking -- if I leave him and someone asks me, what happened, why did you leave him and my answer is -- oh, he got sick and I couldn't tolerate it any more. what kind of person does that make me? how do you leave someone you love because they got sick? I would hate that kind of person! Am I really that kind of person?

You see, this is a really complicated issue. And if you think this makes me sound selfish - so be it.

And, I will return to my "tirade" against the medical industry. Diabetes has two components: they physical and the mental/emotional. The Medical Industry addresses the physical -- they measure chemicals in the blood and think they know what they are talking about. But they don't know anything about how the brain works - that's where this disease is affecting behavior. We believe that our husbands are suffering from how the disease affects their brains. it is the impact on their behavior that is the real crisis of this disease. These ill people have a disorder in their brains that impairs their ability to take appropriate medication, to control their tempers, to manage their pain, etc. Maybe this brain impairment is "self-imposed" because they didn't take the proper care earlier in their lives -- but blame is irrelevant -- we are here today and we have to deal with what is happening in our (and their) lives.

Sometimes - we have to take care of ourselves and our children because there just is no other avenue -- the ill patient that we used to love just no longer exists and self preservation wins out. But other times, we need to stay -- we need to see this through. We need to do every single thing that is in our power to help. We can't leave a dying man on the sidewalk for other people to kick.

if we get some comfort from posting our angst, anxiety, and pain (and occasional joy) on this site, well last I heard we were free to do that. If someone is offended by reading any of this. Then you are quite free to not read it.

People who want to criticize us are NOT welcome to tell us -- we don't want to hear that
we only want to hear support on this particular site.
that's what we are hear for.

I guess I had something to say.