Sunday, August 15, 2010

Been Away

Just looked at the last time I posted and realize that its been a long time since I've written
Its been a busy summer
Mostly work -- but really just a busy life

First things first.
Tom is on a pump and a monitor
the monitor failed -- again
this is his, I don't know, the 4th one he has received?
and it has also failed
yeah, I get it, its new technology
but a new one won't be available until sometime late December
so he has finally, sort of become accustomed to it and now he is back to testing many times a day
he is not happy about it and doesn't do it

I think he considers the pump less of a benefit than he considered the monitor
he just hates the testing
can't say I blame him -- but the problems with the monitor are big also

From my perspective, the lack of the monitor has had multiple impacts on my life
good & bad

on the good side, the beeps and buzzes have stopped at all times in the middle of the night
on the bad side, his highs and lows have become more pronounced
of course, with Tom, the lows are so much more noticeable

it doesn't matter if its before dinner or the middle of the night
a severe low can be 30 with Tom
he talks nonsense, he yells at me, he refuses to eat, you know the routine

we got a new dog -- there are challenges with her
the rescue didn't tell us the truth -- as in she really wasn't spayed and she is much older than they said -- but Tom loves her and loves walking her a lot
as in, he walks her three times from the time he gets home from work until he goes to sleep

don't get me wrong, I think that's great
except that he is getting more exercise and not taking this into account when considering his glucose count

then guess what happens some time during the night? He goes low -- are we shocked?
not me

but he refuses to agree that there is a problem
its me, I make this up, I am just "picking" on him

here is my question, why would I do this?
can someone please tell me why I would create a story that he goes low in the middle of the night and yells at me?
what is it that I get out this?

I just don't get it?

So, now, I'll go away, again.
I will tell you that I'll try to keep up better
but who knows
life sometimes get in the way

and some days, Tom is not the total center of my universe
my work really does fulfill me and keep me occupied

that's a good thing -- for both of us

so for everyone out there
especially those of you married to diabetics
I wish you a good night's sleep
because that really helps all of us cope better every day