Sunday, January 29, 2012


It is always moving when we read of others' stress when dealing with diabetes
We know we are not alone
we want to tell others they are not alone
we want to show support
In some cases it is heartbreaking...

In reading some of DW's posts this week, the topic of glucagons came up

Paula, who has been married to a diabetic for 40+ years writes:

My best friend at this stage of the game is the glucagon kit.  I keep two on hand at all times, carry one in my purse if we are out and about. ...

And, DW responds with her aversion to carrying one.

I think it is an interesting conversation
We don't have one in the house now -- although we have in the past
and have discussed getting it again

Personally, I tried once to give Tom a shot when he was very low
and almost got a black eye for my trouble
when he gets very low, he will swing out to protect himself
maybe one is only supposed to go to the glucogon when he is actually already passed out
but I tried it when he was incoherent, and going back and forth between passed out and raving mad
this was many years ago -- we were both MUCH younger
we have married 25 years now -- so -- much older and know each other better
but I don't like needles much either

Furthermore, if a stranger shows up (a paramedic or even a neighbor) Tom seems to realize -- even if he is in a near-coma -- that he needs to pay attention and let them administer to him
when its me, he doesn't want me near him
so a stranger doesn't get hit -- but I would

so, I am willing to have it in the house again -- but I would probably ask one of my neighbors to come oner and inject him -- if I were at a restaurant -- I would ask a stranger

if he is capable - I would try to pour some type of sugar drink into his mouth.
I would like to hear about other thoughts on this

I really don't like the idea of the glucagon and hope I don't need to learn to use it
I understand DW's perspective on if he is not going to take care of himself, why should she?

I would be very interested to understand more about when Paula needs to use it for her husband.

interesting issues......

Shout Out to Lilly

you haven't posted lately, just wanted to check in and make sure you are doing ok
Clearly last year was tough
hope 2012 is starting out better

Sunday, January 22, 2012

Driving, Posting, Reacting to Abuse

Thanks for all of your comments.

First, as it regards Tom's driving -- Tom is an aggressive, terrible driver when his sugar is exactly 100.
I almost always insist that he test before I will get in the car with him driving now -- and even before I let him drive by himself if I'm around.
He looks at driving as a race - he needs to beat the other cars - whether to an exit on the expressway, to the stop light, or to his destination.
Last week we had a CONVERSATION.  I told him he had to do something about it and I was no longer going to stand by and just let it happen.  I was now going to be his very verbal conscience.  I pointed out many things that he does while driving that is dangerous and unnecessary.  He told me that he thought of me frequently this week while driving to work.
Also when driving together, I am now commenting on dangerous activities and commending safe activities.  I have never wanted to take this role  But I have found that I must.  Otherwise this may get taken out of my hands.  He may lose his license and I will have to become his chauffeur.  I don't like driving that much and would HATE that.  So instead I will become the nag.  He will either get better at this or ......  whatever. 

Did I tell you that his insurance just went up 30% because of an accident he had last year?  the accident had nothing to do with his diabetes -- just bad driving.  The higher insurance rate hit him hard.  That probably made more of an impact on him than anything else.  Money talks to him like nothing else.  but because of it, he is more willing to listen to me.

Also, thank you Michael Hoskins for letting me know that the wife of a longtime Type 1 husband posted on the D-Mine website this week.  Sometimes I see these things and sometimes I don't  Appreciate the heads up. 

The recent posts re non-compliant husbands is breaking my heart.  The men are getting older and I believe the disease is eating away at part of their brains causing them to lash out at the ones closest to them -- their supporting and loving wives.  The wives can only take so much.  There was an article in last Sunday's Washington Post Magazine about a woman whose husband suffered major brain damage.  Eventually, she divorced him and married a different man, and together they care for the first husband.  There has been quite a bit of commentary about this -- some critical saying the woman was acting selfishly others saying she was handling a bad situation gracefully.  My point is that there is no absolute right and wrong.  Each person has to figure it out on their own.  If a husband (or wife) gets to the point where there abusive activity is greater than their non-abusive activity, I believe it is time to consider other options -- no matter how painful that gets.

Tom and I have started talking about this.  Now before he gets that way, he wants to talk about it and make plans.  I am a very lucky person indeed.

Thank you, other wives, for helping me be aware of the potential future so I can talk to Tom about what may be in store for me. 

Tuesday, January 17, 2012

Husband's Lament

On one of the major diabetes sites, a husband wrote about how difficult it is to live with a diabetic spouse

I thought his comments were very similar to our own
although they did not display some of the anger we sometimes show -- after all we are writing our own blogs -- we can write without editorial control

It is interesting to me that in all of the years that I have followed the disease -- and in all the times I tried to get someone to listen to me about the difficulties of the spouse -- it is strange that a husband is the first to get a written article published.

I would assume that life is no easier being man or woman married to a person whose blood sugar swings in the manner of a diabetic -- the craziness is simply a symptom of the disease -- but if that man or anyone from any of those organizations bothered to read the blog of Wife of a Diabetic - or any of these other blogs for that matter - they would know that he has lots of company.  my gosh!  maybe there should be a support program in place!  you think?

I, for one, am getting short on sleep lately and need to try to fix that
maybe its the time of year -- but with the cold and the short days
sleep is what I want to do.

take care one and all.......

Sunday, January 15, 2012

caught between the ones we love

I believe you will find this a familiar story

I offered to pick my sister up from the airport when she returned from vacation yesterday
as things worked out, I was out with Tom yesterday afternoon and while texting with her before her plane took off, I mentioned that Tom was with me
She said that if Tom was driving she did not want the ride - she would find another way to get home

Well, Tom is an aggressive driver sometimes and I have to remind him to stop scaring me
usually when I ask he does
but when his sugar is off -- then he drives even worse

so, yes it can be a problem
but I truly don't see it as a big problem

but I'm not sure I"m in a good position to judge
by the way, I find driving with my sister's husband to be more scary than driving with Tom
but that may be because I'm not used to his version of risk-taking

Anyway.  I guess I see her point -- she doesn't feel safe and doesn't want to elect to do something not safe
but, my feelings were hurt
i'm feeling very conflicted about it

on the other hand, something came up last night that gave me the opportunity (when we were home and not in the car) when I was able to ask Tom about his driving.  would he admit that he needed to get serious about being safer, about being less aggressive, about not scaring me so much.  He was truly surprised -- he asked if I had been scared earlier in the day.  when I said yes a few times  -- he was puzzled.  When?  Where?  He wasn't angry just didn't see anything he had done that could have caused it.

I asked him if he wanted my help figuring out a solution -- he said no -- he would work on it.
so I will let it go for awhile.  then I'll bring it up again :)

In the meantime, I need to figure out how to address my feelings about my sister.
maybe I shouldn't be upset with her but I am

any wise words ?

Sunday, January 1, 2012

Lucky Me in 2012

I am counting my blessings
Tom is doing well and the last six months have actually been quite nice
For the first time in many years, I am looking forward to the new year

My heart breaks when I read about others' pain
I wish there were more I could do...
I wish the diabetic had more ability to control his sugar
I wish the spouses were treated better
I wish there were a cure

in the meantime,,,
I hope all of us get rest in the new year.....