Wednesday, February 2, 2011

My Heart Goes Out to Wife of Diabetic

DW's post is heartbreaking
for any one of us who has brought our husbands in for surgery know
medical care is pretty horrible
care-givers have no idea how to treat diabetes
they don't understand dosages of any of the insulins
frankly, I find it interesting that she knows so much
I have no clue what quantities Tom should get

But, like her, I do know that a glucose reading of 320 is WAY too high
why don't the nurses know this?
Its awful

I'm frankly surprised that she left the hospital at all
I'm not sure I would have --unless they kicked me out

And its understandable for her to say that its not about the love of her life
its outrage that this is supposed to be medical care
and the hippocratic oath: first do no harm
glucose stable at 320!
I've gone to the doctor and she panics if my glucose reading is 125
its a stupid system

And then to add insult to injury, the surgeon blames her for the husband's weight?!?
first of all, why would he blame his lack of ability to fix things on anything other than the inability to fix everything that's broken -- he is human, he can't fix everything
science can only go so far, surgery can't fix everything - if there are limitations, be honest and just admit it -- stop the blame game -- who does that benefit other than his own ego?

second, why blame her? what did she have to do with it? if, in fact, the problem is his weight, that's not her! as Lilly said, he put the food in his own mouth and elected not to exercise more. He may have had some very valid reasons for these choices -- maybe not -- but they were his choices -- to blame those choices on anyone else takes away his responsibility but also his sense of self -- HIS CHOICE!!!

Maybe he feels like he is sick, he may be dying -- if he is going to die, maybe he should die eating food he enjoys -- I have no idea but neither does that doctor! its not for him to say -- how insulting to both the wife and the husband!

again, I just hate this situation - its insulting, its annoying, its aggravating, its maddening, its infuriating, where are all of the people who think our health care is fine? Argh!

OK, I'll get off my soapbox now. DW, know that you have our support out here
many of us have been in your shoes
and we are very frightened of being there again

we would like to believe that it gets better
and then we see, that it doesn't
we try to prepare
but nothing prepares us for this
when everything in the universe seems to be focused against us
the science, the doctors, even the weather

hang in there
and vent all you want
if we could, we would hold your hand
and sit beside you quietly
or listen to you cry
whatever you need
we want to help

remember to take care of yourself in all of this

I wish you good sleep...

Tom's Wife