Tuesday, March 11, 2014

Tom's good -- I'm not

Since I started writing this blog to talk about dealing with my husband's Type 1 diabetes, we have been through some terrible times and some great ones.

At this moment in my life, Tom is doing well and our relationship is good.  However, I have been through a series of health issues that feels catastrophic.

In September (2013), I fell and shattered my wrist. It required surgery and just knocked out my Fall season.

Then in November (2013), I fell again and dislocated my ankle.  This also required surgery and this time I was laid up for two full months -- one of those months moved into my mother's house so she could take care of me.

In January, I had a kidney stone -- which fortunately  passed quickly, but was extremely painful also.

Last week (March 2014), I was back in the emergency room for back pain which turned out to be pneumonia and UTI.  They also found a cyst on my ovary.

I just can't seem to get healthy.  And, yet, it doesn't seem like any of my ailments are related.  Fortunately I have good health insurance and good doctors.

I am also lucky to have a great husband and wonderful family nearby to help me.

But I am feeling very down and just want to feel good -- something I haven't felt in six months.!


Tuesday, January 14, 2014

can't stay out of the hospital

well, 2014 is not starting well.
last week i was back in the ER with a kidney stone
wow!  i just seem to have so many problems.
really this is not me
i have never had so many health problems in such a short amount of time

and, neither has my family
they don't know how to treat me
they are worried and yet we don't like to say those things out loud.

so i am staying home or going to physical therapy or a doctor
that is all i do
barely have time to work

also its the one year anniversary of my dad's death and everyone is feeling crappy about that

tom is having trouble managing his glucose levels
lots of big swings and he is unhappy about it
so am i
he sees his endo doc tomorrow
hopefully he will tell her the truth and he gets the right type of help

Wednesday, January 1, 2014

Hope for a Good 2014

Well, goodbye to 2013, and good riddance.
It was a miserable year for me.
The year started with my dad's death
followed quickly by my dog's death
I attended 6 other funerals over the course of the year

Then in September I broke ("shattered") my wrist and needed surgery
in November, I broke my ankle and needed surgery for that

All year long, Tom has consistent (like always)
What this means is that many days his glucose goes low around 6 pm
By low, I would say around 55 to 60

If I try to start dinner earlier - he tells me its too early for dinner and he is not hungry
If I try to encourage him to eat a snack - he doesn't know why...
He just doesn't want to address this
its a consistent behavior that he won't address

in the past, I have handed him a beverage and left him to to drink it
but since my accidents, I have been so limited in my ability to do much of anything
that all I can do is verbalize my concern and wait it out

He has been reasonably supportive of me
my mom and sisters much more helpful than him
(who is surprised by that?)

well, I'm looking forward to being healthier in 2014
and then I'll be in a better position to deal (or not) with his issues.

All the best...

Tom's Wife

Tuesday, November 19, 2013

2013 can't end soon enough

I can't remember a worse year in my life...

the year started with my dad's death
followed by my cousin's death -- then four more (distant) family member deaths

my husband's car was hit three times (none his fault) no one injured...

on Labor Day, I fell down my front steps, shattered my wrist and required surgery

this past weekend, just as I finished physical therapy for my wrist, I fell again
this time my back steps
this time I broke my ankle and worse dislocated my ankle, requiring surgery again!!!


Next year just has to be better!

Sunday, November 10, 2013

Another Funeral!

This is the worst year ever for losing people in my life!
Today it was the funeral for the mother in law of one of my cousins
(If you haven't figured it out, I have lots of cousins -- and I like them all!)
She was 99 years old - and she had a good life
In any other year I would celebrate her life
But this year -- well, I'm just so sad!!!

My father, my cousin, Tom's uncle, my childhood friend's mom, this relative ......

Its just too much and I'm not dealing with it well.

My wrist is healing well and we have had great weather

but really, I just want 2013 to be over.....

hopefully, 2014 will be better!

Sunday, October 13, 2013

Same Old Same Old

Life goes on
Tom is doing well over all
but he has his highs and lows -- literally
yesterday was a bad day
we went to a party and his sugar shot to over 400 then he went below 70
up and down twice more in the day

it is so difficult for him

he doesn't discuss it with me
doesn't want me to ask
but I know
and I ask

he responds
almost embarrassed

I feel badly for him
but at the same time angry

this is nothing to be embarrassed about
and he is allowed to accept help

I think maybe that's the worst part -- that he still thinks getting help is a weakness

frustrating for me!

Monday, September 16, 2013

A Broken Wrist!

a couple of hours after I wrote my last post, I walked out of my house, fell and broke my wrist
Tom wasn't home but fortunately some neighbors were walking by and came to help
I was in terrible pain, but the ambulance ride was quick
and the people at the hospital knew was to do
I fell around 9 and was home before 1 -- good in ER time i think...

Anyway, I needed surgery to implant a metal plate and pins
surgery is always miserable
but my family took control -- thank goodness!
My sisters found the best doc -- during labor day week in which the Jewish holidays fell -- a feat where we live!
I feel well cared-for

but surgery takes you down -- not just the arm which was hurt
but pain meds mess up your mind

on Tuesday i ended up back in the ER
I don't think i am a wimp
but i was crying in pain

docs did lots of test
couldn't figure it out so diagnosed migraine

ok, finally, to Tom
Poor Tom
I'm out of commission --
can't dress myself, can't prepare food, can't drive
so many things i can't do
i am in pain, tired and cranky
my family is helping but can only do so much

he chooses work
maybe because he needs to,
maybe because he wants to

today he broke
was working on dinner
taking a very long time before i caught it
he tested and was 53
drank juice and ate food

ah, the life of living with a diabetic
the good and the not so good

wishing every one a good night's sleep
(that's what I want)

Tom's Wife