Memorial Day 2011

I have spent the last hour or so catching up on everyone else's blogs
commenting on others' issues has taken awhile and was fun

I'm trying to make a career change so I don't have time for Tom's crap
He knows that I simply cannot take care of him right now
If I don't pull this off just right, I will be out of work -- and that means one half of our income
that scares both of us -- but he freaks over the thought of only his salary supporting us
so I'm hoping that he will take care of himself and leave me alone to focus where I need to focus

He is doing OK -- he has had some minor lows - low enough that I notice -but not bad enough to require significant intervention. No major blow ups -- I just suggest he not wear two tee shirts and offer the appropriate socks and suggest he drink some juice and walk away. this has worked these last few weeks. I refuse to engage in verbal battles with him. if he starts to argue -- I walk out. fortunately our house is big enough that i can find another room where I can hide. Oops! I mean be alone. Whatever, he fixes himself when I don't fix him and its been ok.

This weekend, I helped my baby sister (51 years old but always the baby of the family) paint her living room). She is many years divorced and just bought her house. she has never painted a room - but I have painted almost every room of my house - more than once. Its a relatively cheap way to make a room feel like new. so I helped her. it gives her confidence and helps her and just cost me a little time. so I did a good thing and it was fine.

that's my update tonight
I did spend my few moments of giving thanks for all of our veterans and their families
for all they have given to us
I wish war would go away
but until it does -- I'm grateful for the people who fight for my freedom
take care

Dis-Harmony

I do not like dis-harmony
it feels like there is a great deal of cacaphony in my life right now
I am not a musician but I love music
harmony, soothing tunes, calming melodies, you know....
This is something I "inherited" from my dad
so, when there is discord in my life, I just want to hide

my work life is VERY stressful -- you probably guessed that
my family (meaning my sisters, parents, nieces/nephews, etc.) are raising issues
its too much
its nonsense
its unnecessary
there is no benefit

Tom is fine from a health standpoint right now
but he is being a jerk lately
and truly I think its related to his illness
his irritability and his glucose levels appear to be related -
he is so restrictive in his food and he keeps his glucose so low that he can't be happy

so I need to figure out to just find peace despite all this noise
let them be loud and disagreeable - I will just look for the quiet --
in a month I will get to have a weekend alone
I can look forward to that

I'll start counting the days

Its a New Day

I took the weekend off
I didn't read the posts and didn't respond to anyone else's
There are times when we just need a break
sometimes its short, sometimes its long
this time it was a few days
its just that so much is going on in my life right now
and amazingly Tom is taking care of himself
at least for a few days
all of us know that this is only a temporary thing
at any moment that could change
but I'll take advantage of it when I can
for now, I'll appreciate it

and, I'll feel sympathy for Lilly, DW, Sandy and the others.
they deserve my prayers.
some of them are having some pretty tough times

good luck and hope you get a good night's sleep

Don't Feel Well

I'm fine - but not feeling great
I have an eye infection and my whole system is down
then today, when I was leaving work, there was a soda spill on the floor
I didn't see it and fell -- hard
nothing broken -- but I'm bruised and just feel like crap

fortunately Tom is "behaving" tonight
how is it that he seems to understand that this is one of those nights when I really could not take care of him no matter what

Tons of stupid family garbage over the weekend also
but I'm too tired to talk about it

just take my word for it
some people don't understand the definition of family
they are selfish and don't care if they hurt their parents
more on that another time

hope you are doing better than me tonight

Tom's Wife