trying to be supportive

today I received an email from another spouse who is trying to cope
her list of experienced is similar to all of ours who have been with spouses with the disease

I am finding that being married to a Diabetic 2 is very difficult. I also have been put in the role of nurse, parent, coach, mind-reader, researcher and breadwinner sole provider. He has been unable to work due to all the bad days the past few years. Now he has neuropathy in both his feet and while he is only 47 years old it is like I am taking care of an elderly man. I have also worried about being too bossy and not caring enough but he acts like a little kid and refuses to do what needs to be done like remembering to take the meds during the day while I am at work. Or blood test and doctors visits if I am not there to take him. It is a never-ending, never-winning struggle

How can I help?
None of us can do it all, though it seems like we try
I love him, and it seems absurd to me that I would leave him because he is ill
then again, I never knew that illness involved being screamed at and treated so badly
right?

I never in my wildest dreams imagined that I would lay awake all night making sure that his heart was still beating after having gone so low that the paramedics had to stick him with so much glucose a cow would go into overdrive

there is no reason

there is no rhyme

this is just life

if you asked me a question I would try to answer it

at the moment, Tom and I are in a good place
he is doing really well with his diabetes
I am grateful every day

it hasn't always been this way
and I know that it won't always be this way

I know the day will come when it will get bad again
very bad

We haven't heard from DW in awhile and that scares me a lot
I realize that she is either very busy with her husband
or, well, worse
I wish her the best in the world
and I wish I could take care of her and of all of us

I don't know how

All any of us can do is get up each day and do our best
take care of yourself first
because if you are not well, you can't take care of anyone else

we forget this most of the time
but it is SO true!!!

be good to yourself
even if it is only for 5 minutes
close your eyes
breathe deeply
imagine you are in a safe, quiet place
shut out all the busyness of your life
and find peace -- just for those 5 minutes

you deserve it

you will be better for it

I hope you sleep well tonight
it is the best wish I can offer

write to me some more
and tell me your thoughts

it helps me too

Tom's Wife